Humanzi – Fix The Cracks – Single Review

by Emma

Humanzi’s next single, double-A sider Fix The Cracks/Get Your Shit Together is released 7th November, and is an eye-opener!

Think Alamos … if you like them you will probably like Humanzi’s sharp vocals and dance-meets-rock sound. Of the two tracks I prefer Get Your Shit Together, it’s a much easier listen.

Simple Plan – Untitled

by Emma

I have a certain amount of respect for Simple Plan and their mild brand of pop/punk rock. It so far has proved to be a recipe for success for the boys, however with the single Untitled, they have decided to see how a ballad will go down with the public ear.

The result is a good track – not great, but I can see exactly where the appeal lies. The younger female fans will love it, however it is bit too bleak for moi! Having said that the piano backing is beautiful and lifts the song. Give me back the mischievous leaping-around-while-playing-guitar Simple Plan!


Fall Out Boy – Sugar, We’re Goin’ Down – Single Review

by Emma

Fall Out Boy have managed to create a universally loved song in Sugar, We’re Goin’ Down.

This is a pop-come-punk diamond of a track that catches the ear of listener regardless of their preferred genre. This has catchy lyrics, a great melody and rocks enough for the slanty-fringed emo generation. A fab tune – you probably have a copy already – if you don’t then you need to get one!

Funeral For A Friend – History – Single Review

by Emma

Funeral For A Friend release History on 14th November, making an excellent choice for the third single from the huge album Hours.

History is a beautiful and poignant track with soft backing music and leaving the main focus on the smooth vocals and harmonies. Accompanied by a personal and meaningful music video this track should prove to be highly successful. I spoke to Kris and Ryan before the Manchester Taste of Chaos show and they both said that History is one of their very favourite Funeral For A Friend songs. Well boys, it’s one of ours too!

Korn – Twisted Transistor – Single Review

by Emma

Ha ha! Korn are back on top fucking form and I couldn’t be happier to say that! Twisted Transistor is the first single from the forthcoming album See You On The Other Side due for release on 5th December.

Twisted Transistor is a great throbbing piece of metal funk and of course features those unique and unmistakeable vocals of Jonathan Davis. The tune twists and turns like the corkscrew at Alton Towers and is an essential for your CD collection. The single is available from 21 November so fix the date firmly in your mind and make sure you get your copy.


Fastlane

Fastlane Interview

by Emma

Fastlane Interview – Leeds Cockpit – 25 October 2005

Now I knew from previous experience that the Fastlane boys would be up for a laugh – I wasn’t wrong – so I decided to make this interview a little more fun! Instead of asking the questions in the usual fashion I had each question on a slip of paper and let the boys take turns at a lucky dip! I snatched away Matty O’Grady and Ian Maynard after their performance and we retired to the dressing room for a chat…

Q. Tell us your best joke!
Matty. Ok the joke is ‘what sort of a bee produces milk?’…and the answer is ‘a boobee’
OI. Maynard, what’s yours?
Maynard. That is my favorite bloody joke, oh Christ! Well I don’t want to offend any minority or females or anything like that! Oh here’s one – ‘why did the scarecrow win a Nobel prize?’…’because they said he was outstanding in his field’!
Matty. That’s very good.
Q. If you could collaborate with any artist who would you choose and why?
Maynard. Probably Van Gogh, because he’s not a musician and I don’t know but what a crappy question, who asked me this?! Who would I choose…
Matty. Beach Boys
Maynard. Beach boys would be nice
Matty. They could sing and we could do the instruments.
Maynard. That’s a shit answer
Matty. It’s a shit answer, but to a bad question!
Q. You have now been confirmed as support band for the Zebrahead November tour. Are you focusing on touring at the moment… your work ethic seems very harsh.
Matty. We don’t decide anything, we get told what to do is the answer to that.
Maynard. The thing is we were gonna do a headline slot with Avril Lavigne supporting us but she won’t even come out for a drink with us!
Q. What is the best gig you have ever attended?
Matty. Brian Wilson, Portsmouth Hall – fucking amazing. It’s the best thing I have ever seen in my life.
Maynard. Greenday back in 199…
Matty. That was good but the Brian Wilson band piss on anything I’ve ever seen on TV, live or anything ever. 40 people singing a 40-part harmony – it’s just fucking amazing.
Q. When you go to a gig, do you get into the moshpit or do you play it safe?
Matty. No I don’t get in there
Maynard. I used to, and then I found out that the kids were getting smaller and I was getting bigger and its not really fair. Gary and Biffen go in.
Q. How do you get along together when touring – it must get pretty intense.
Matty. The last couple of weeks it’s got very intense but apart from that the last three years have been alright.
Maynard. Yeah generally we’re good together, because everyone’s a bit of a pussy and no one wants to ever say anything, so it all just builds up into this big massive argument and then it gets sorted out.
OI. Is there one person who tends to get to the point and says it all?
Maynard. Biffen’s upfront, Biffen’s a very upfront person.
Spunge guy. Can I do a question?
(At which point Maynard swiftly pockets the packet of cigarettes that he borrowed from me).
OI. Can we have our cigs back please?
Maynard. I’m sorry! And I’m a thief! Professional thief and bassist.
OI. Very smoothly done though!
Q. Beer or spirits?
Maynard. Beer every time! But I do like Jack Daniels, so I’ll go for beer until I’m pissing like a fucking racehorse, and then I’ll hit spirits.
Matty. Beer.
Spunge guy. Does cider come under beer? (Queue various grunts of disgust from everyone else in the room). Starts to sing – ‘I am a cider drinker, except when there’s nothing on the rider’.
Matty. Oooh this is an interesting one.
Q. You are given one night to date any artist slash celebrity, one night only, male or female, who would you choose?
Maynard. Alex Mac!
Matty. (Pointing at Spunge guy) well him for starters, and if he’s not available, busy schedule…
Maynard. It’s gotta be Alex! Fucking love that bird. Along with my girlfriend! Oh! The bird out of Aladdin, or the princess out of …
Matty. They’re cartoons!
Maynard. Yeah…or Jessica Rabbit.
Matty. Oh actually, what’s her fucking name from Girl Next Door, Elisha Cuthbert, fit as fuck. This is gonna get us in trouble…
Q. Five words to describe Fastlane
Matty. I dunno…c*nts would have to be the first one!
Maynard. So c*nts, beer, rock, fun, gimme some of the w*** would be the last one!
Matty. I’m gonna be controversial and take the top one
Q. New Start was recorded in March/April 2004, have you or are you planning to get back into the studio to record a second album? What has the feedback been like for New Start?
Matty. The answer to that would be- for the first part -the label wants us to record another album, second part is we’re not ready to.
Maynard. Well, our labels don’t want us to do it yet, they wanna wait, for hell to freeze over or something.
OI. Have you written new material?
Maynard. Yeah we got new material on the go on my laptop here, it’s under lock and key so no one can ever hear it until its ready. And how is being received…the Japanese love it, the English…well they do like it but it’s just harder in England. Yeah we’re not getting as much coverage as we would want.
Matty. The bottom line is that the English record industry hasn’t got the balls to push any plans.
(Ben walks in)
Maynard. Ben enters, the door slams, the room goes quiet!

Q. If you could recommend one album of all time, what would it be?
Matty. Are You Dead Yet? – Children Of Bodom.
Maynard. I’m gonna probably have to say Kylie’s first album, the one with locomotion and, possibly Jason Donovan was quite hot at that time. He did Sealed With A Kiss…
Matty. I got the impression he just did a couple of comedy records, and then fucked off, and got on the sk**…
Maynard. Oh no, he was good. This was back in the day when he couldn’t get into Harrods because his jeans were ripped and he was a rock motherfucker. It’s True! It was in The Sun…must be true!
Q. What has been the highlight of 2005 for you?
Matty. For me…uh…there are three
OI. You can have have three
Matty. I can have three? Okay, playing with New Found Glory at Southampton, Middlesborough Town Hall, that was good…and Download.
Maynard. Download festival was great and I got to see Slash
Matty. And I didn’t, ‘cos I was in the other area like a prick and saw the singer from HIM.
Maynard. And we managed to steal away with us an entire crate of lager after consuming as much as possible!
Q. How did the band get together and how long have you been playing as a group?
Maynard. Me and Matty – it started off as just us two in the bedroom and he was on drums and I played guitar, when I was about 14 so about 9 years ago. Yeah we were playing together and wanting to start a band
Matty. Not sexually, just musically… until we got bored
Maynard. Yeah, and we were writing atrociously rude songs about big cocks and stuff like that and we thought it was really funny. And we got Ben and Biffen to join, Ben was on guitar and vocals with me, Biffen was on bass and we all fucked off to uni and stuff like that
Matty. Me and Biffen didn’t cos we were losers, and then we all got back together again
Maynard. And I fucked my third year off and started just going out with them all the time touring
Matty. Again not sexually…until we got bored.
Maynard. Oh yeah, and we had a drummer called Mr M Gun, and then he vacated for Gary Tough. And now it’s been about two years.
Q. What’s your best drunken story?
Matty. In other words, what’s your best story!
Maynard. Recently or ever?
OI. Ever
Maynard. Oh I’ve got a great one! I was in the county of Stafford, got obliterated, went into Asda, and thought it would be great to see if I could run round the entire of Asda with no trousers on, so I did that and got carried out by the security guards, and then half an hour later my friends found me hanging over a fence with a string of onions around my neck and a bag of potatoes! And then I woke up, apparently I took it all back to the house, woke up the next morning and went downstairs and started shouting at everyone
‘cos there was fucking potatoes all over the house and I was like ‘someone’s gotta fuckin clear this up’ and then they said it was you last night! So if anyone reads this from Stafford, I’m really sorry.
Matty. One night I got paraletic and decided to go to my mate’s house and got pulled over by the police, and apparently, I went and called shotgun in the police car!
Q. Are there any new bands that have caught your attention recently?
Matty. Children Of Bodom – their new album
Maynard. Oh god, Children Of Bodom are a sick fucking metal band, they’re awesome.
Matty. They are brutal as fuck
Q. What do you hope for the future of Fastlane?
Maynard. I wanna get rich and famous, and be able to afford to spend loads of cash on drugs and alcohol and not have to worry about reality. Just to be able to do the band.
Matty. Even for 50 quid a week I’d still do it
Maynard. Yeah if I could pay myself 50 pound a week I’d shit my pants
OI. Matty what did you do while the others were at uni?
Matty. I worked – I lived in a pub and I was a chef for three years, and drank a lot!

At this point various members of headline band Spunge burst into the room shouting ‘Hands up in here who’s a man’ before producing a can of Old Spice deodorant and attacking all of us with it, spraying it between their arse cracks, and leaving the room stinking!

Q. What one thing could you not live without?
Matty. Oh god well you’d have to say penis wouldn’t you!
Maynard. Food and water?
Matty. Cos that’s just a given really isn’t it?!
Maynard. Well you aren’t gonna last long without food and water, well I’d substitute the water for lager if I had to…a bath in lager…I bet that would be really tickly! And all the bubbles around your bits!
Q. How would you describe your music to someone who’s never heard Fastlane before?
Maynard. If you wanna know, just buy the record!
OI. Just pretend we don’t know about it!
Maynard. It’s quite good. It’s fun fucking heavy poppy shitty rock shit!
Q. Metallica or Maiden?
Matty. Oh fuck. Oh Iron Maiden, I don’t like Metallica, and Iron Maiden have great t-shirts and awesome artwork.
Matty. Next one, okay, this is quite a tricky one, so take your time, okay?
Q. If you had to be a biscuit, what biscuit would you be?
Matty. Okay, well I don’t like biscuits, but if I had to be a sweet…
Maynard. Well that’s just changing the question!
Matty. That’s what I did, yeah!
Maynard. That’s like saying ‘What’s your favourite colour?’ ‘Well instead of my favourite colour, I’ll tell you my favourite horse!’
OI. Well if you had to be a drink…
Matty. Oh I would be lager
Maynard. Because the foam is your hair, all year round tan, amber colour.
Matty. Can I be a sweet though? I eat a lot of sweets!
Maynard. Honestly, no word of a lie, and you can quote me on this. Maynard says Matty, is like a fucking… ok Matty gets up and, everyone else gets up and is like maybe we should have a cheese toastie, maybe we should get a fry up. Matty is just straight in the sweet cabinet and buys maybe a pack of Haribo Sour, and washes it down with some sour liquorice!
Matty. Yeah!
Maynard. Then lunchtime comes, and Matty goes and finds some sour spiders, sour worms…
Matty. They were shit, don’t buy them!
OI. What about chocolate?
Matty. Oh I don’t do chocolate
Maynard. No I don’t do chocolate…but I would say Galaxy over Dairy Milk!
Maynard. Biscuits…McVities Caramels, but…Jammy Dodger! It’s like two biscuits!
Matty. I would say digestives
Maynard. What just plain fucking digestives? That’s like saying ‘What car would you like out of any car?’ ‘A Metro’!
Matty. Well, simple man…you know.
Maynard. Yeah so Jammy Dodgers but I want the sugar on the jam, some of them don’t even bother putting the sugar on it!
Maynard. Just, take your time over a biscuit!

This could have gone on forever…so we all decided to leave it at that and headed down to the bar!


Alexisonfire

Alexisonfire Interview

by Emma

Leeds Cockpit – 23 October 2005

The mighty Alexisonfire…my favourite band in the entire universe! I was pant-shittingly nervous and utterly delighted to be interviewing them before their gig at The Cockpit. Mark and I were invited into the tour bus for a talk with vocalist George and guitarist/vocalist Wade.

E. We all know what role each band member plays musically, however on a personal level what role would you say that each of you plays within the group?
G. Wade is definitely a serious guy!
W. None of us really try and take ourselves too seriously and you know touring is such a strange way of living that we just pretty much try and laugh everything off, like all the massive problems.
G. But yeah, I would say that personality-wise, Steele is probably the brains. I don’t know it’s a really tough question! Dallas is like the mum, like the sober one always making sure that we’re in line. But you know, we all have a lot of each other in us.
M. You have your new album coming out soon. The first album is more focused on your (George) vocals, and the second is more of a mix between you (George) and Dallas. What’s the focus of the new album?
W. Free-form Jazz
G. Yeah free-form jazz oddesy mostly.
W. I think that, you know we have a split coming out at the end of the month. There’s one new song on it that’s like a lot rockier, like a kind of rock ‘n’ roll sound. I think we haven’t really written too much like the songs we have now. One thing we’re not going to do with the new album is repeat ourselves. It’ll be an Alexisonfire record but it’ll be like new.
E. With the split album, what did you think of the cover versions that the other band has done of your songs?
G. I was really excited about that actually, yeah.
W. I think we were all really stoked with the way it turned out. I don’t know, like just to hear like really good friends of ours, and all of us have been into them for a while and we used to go their shows, you know. And so to hear them take a song that we’ve written and you know like put their own spin on it – it’s just really neat. And I think they are really pleased with the way we did it…we wouldn’t show them the songs until we were all sitting together and when they came over to our Toronto show before this we all got on the bus and like had a listening party to the CD and they seemed to be okay with it.
G. They were really fun yeah. Those guys are really close friends of ours and we’ve done the cross-Canada tour with them and they are just like some of the sweetest and most awesome people that we’ve ever met.
M. What is the plan for after this tour, are you touring in a different country?
W. Well we go to the states for three weeks on a headline tour and then after that we are going to try to write. We spent all summer trying to not play shows, which we’re not very good at doing, and then we played shows all summer long!
M. Do you enjoy touring still?
W. Yeah, it’s good, but I think by the time we get home from the American tour…
G. I think we’ll be well ready to just have some down time!
E. You played at the Give It A Name show in May in London, did you get chance to hang out with any of the other bands there?
W. We would pretty much hang with Rise Against.
G. We got to hang out a little bit with the Funeral For A Friend guys.
W. Actually, they weren’t playing or anything but Jay from Metal Soundclash was over and we were just hanging out with those guys also during the day and stuff.
G. Other than that it was just us, you know, all the rest of the bands on that show sucked anyway, so…I’m joking!
M. We read your website, and it shows quite a variance in your musical influences. Who would you say your main influence is, because Alexisonfire don’t sound like anybody else. What did you listen to when you were growing up?
W. Yeah everyone has their own thing. I guess that when I first started playing guitar and I was buying records I was buying a lot of Manson and I had this absolute skid-bag guitar teacher who wore massive docs and had really long red hair and he was just like feeding me all this metal, and then I kind of started getting more into punk rock and stuff like that and now I think everyone listens to absolutely everything.
G. It’s really difficult to pin point one musical influence – I think you would have to say that we’re influenced by music but we listen to a lot of different types of music and that influences us, not necessarily like this band was the reason why we did it. I think we all have a very collective music taste so the songs kind of happen that way.
E. Your videos portray a really good sense of humour, do you get up to many pranks and play tricks on each other when you’re on tour?
W. Um, we don’t do pranking so much, more just acting like complete assholes!
G. Yeah yeah we take the piss out of each other and just like joking and cracking wise all the time.
W. I have one (story) actually, last night we were walking home from the bar, our bass player Chris had borrowed my hat and was wearing this mesh-backed hat and I guess this group of girls walked by and they took it, took his hat and he didn’t notice – I guess he was kinda drunk. They knocked the hat off of his head, and so he was walking for a bit then realised he wasn’t wearing it, and he realised that it must have been them. Then he started running after them down an alley, he got the hat and then he went up to them and one girl was wearing a cowboy hat, and he took the cowboy hat off of her head and ran away with it!
G. It’s upstairs, we have the hat!
W. And they were chasing him and he just ran away with the cowboy hat!
G. That’s like a metaphor for our band I think! That entire scenario is a huge metaphor for our band!
M. If you were given a choice, to play small venues like this or festivals, which would you rather play?
W. I think the fact that we get to do all of that is really good, there’s something that’s really amazing about playing a fest. Arenas are weird, its such a different kind of thing from playing shows like the one we played when we were in Belgium, right before we came to the UK on this, we played right on the floor and there were people standing 360 degrees around us and that’s such an incredible feeling and to be absolutely exhausted and feel absolutely terrible and its so hot but it’s the most amazing thing.
G. And you have kids like pushing their way onto the stage and pulling cords out of everything, you know, but it’s good, it’s like this chaos that’s like really really fun you know? And you just feel terrible the whole set and it’s great. There’s something really great about that but there’s something also really great about playing a big show in front of like thousands of people.
W. You see that when we’re playing Arenas or something like that, like Toronto – there’s almost 8 thousand people there and when almost every single person in the club is clapping at the same time, seeing that or having everyone singing along to certain parts is just crazy.
E. Is it true that you offer free entry to gigs for any fans that have an Alexisonfire tattoo?
W. Yeah, there’s someone here tonight actually!
E. Do you have them yourselves?
W. Yeah I got one
G. I’m still paying to get into Alexisonfire shows!
W. I had heard that Rocket From The Crypt used to do that and I was like, if someone is going to take such a step and support us like that, especially with us having a lot of tattoos, and if they are interested in doing that then it’s the least we can do. It’s amazing.
E. That’s a really cool thing to do for your fans.
M. You’re album artwork – do any of you have a say in that or is it someone else that decides and tells you.
G. It’s all us!
W. We have pretty much a say in everything that we do. There was some sort of massive communication breakdown with our artwork getting re-done for our CD on Sorepoint, our first CD
G. The one with just the black cover with the heart skull
W. And we showed up and were like ‘what the fuck is this?’ ‘cos actually our artwork was like catholic school girl night flight that me and George did all the photography for, and we didn’t think our CD was out and we came over here for the first time and those were in there are we were like ‘this is atrocious looking’. With Watch Out we wanted to put out a CD cover that doesn’t really have anything to do with the subject matter of the CD at all. We just wanted to do something that didn’t look very computerized. The trouble is a lot of bands, like hardcore and screamo whatever, a lot of the packaging looks so similar, it looks splattery like a dolby photo shot so we just kinda wanted to do something that looks like somebody drew it all up.
E. Pretend like we have never heard your music before – how would you describe it to me?
G. The worst shit you have ever heard ever! So bad…….. so bad!
W. We sound kinda like drinking nine ciders, then going to a kebab shop, getting the meat on the chips right, and then just covering it with really hot curry at four in the morning, going to bed, waking up the next morning feeling like …
G….like someone puked in your stomach!
M. What have been the highlights so far of touring the UK?
W. It was pretty good when Steele stole that woman’s cowboy hat!
G. Yeah that was pretty good when that happened!
W. The UK is a hell of a lot different from the states
G. Every city seems to have a lot of history and spirit and architecture, every city has it’s own kind of flavour which is something you don’t get in the United States, you know. Every city is just like Wallmart, Taco Bell and MacDonalds all over the place. Then there’s the ghetto where we’re playing where people are smoking crack outside of our van or bus.
W. Yeah that’s the main difference, the cities have a lot of character. Canada is a relatively new country, the oldest building in our city is like the Ministry of Transportation which was made in 1975 or something!
M. Do you see any big differences between the fans in different countries?
W. I think that last time we played here was absolutely mental
G. Yeah that was probably the best.
W. I think that here people are trying to emulate something that they think is happening in America, like at shows, but they are doing a better job of it! But as a result of trying to emulate it, it’s like way crazier!
G. Way better shows!
W. I think also that people get really excited over here when bands come over from other countries, it’s like when we played in New York last time, we knew two other bands that were playing right down the road, and there’s probably six other shows in a three block radius and people on any given night have a chance to go see whoever they want so I don’t think people necessarily get as excited about us there.
E. What would you hope the future to bring for Alexisonfire?
G. Riches, jewels!
W. Helicopters
W. Just to try and keep making music that we think is worthwhile
G. If Alexisonfire never progressed past the point that we have right now, I would be very happy. But I’m not saying that I don’t want us to get better, or get bigger, I’m just saying that I think we have achieved a lot in this band and I feel very comfortable with that but at the same time if more stuff happens that’s great. I’m not going to start wishing for anything because I feel very lucky and very privileged that I can travel the world, and I don’t have to work a shitty job and I can pay my rent.
W. When we got to the point where the band was like ‘this is what we do now’, that was such an achievement in itself. The fact that we get to play music every day, we would be doing this if we were doing in the basement in my mom’s house and just playing on the weekend or something like that, so to be able to travel and play is great.
M. When you are writing new material, is there anyone in particular who writes the lyrics, or do you write your own parts?
G. Well myself and Dallas and Wade usually all have input like we all just kind of like sit down and try to work out a song together. How it happened with Watch Out is that we would pick a topic and we would all try and work out lyrics that would fit.
W. George probably writes more lyrics than anyone else and usually has such a mass of them that we end up editing it down to the song.
M. When you’re all on stage you seem like a really close-knit band, and seem like you are all friends. Were you all friends before you started the band, is that how it came around?
W. Yeah, I played baseball with our bass player when I was eight or nine, and George’s dad coached our baseball team, and we won!
G. Every baseball team I was ever on – we were like the last placed team. It was like the bad news bears without having any sort of victory. We never came around, we were always just a fucking awkward geeks, you know!
W. We know everyone and all met through music and stuff like that. I met George because he had a really nice punk coat. A studded leather jacket, and I started saying hello to him and I’d see him at shows and record stores.
G. Yeah me and Wade met through punk!
E. So will be hearing new material from you tonight?
W. You will, you will be hearing two new jams!
M. Are you guys okay with Dallas doing his own thing, with his side project?
G. It fucking cheeses me off man!
W. Constant arguments!
G. No, actually I’m very proud of him and it makes me very happy when I hear he’s doing well with everything. Wade and myself have a side project as well called The Black One, it’s a rock ‘n’ roll band kind of thing. It’s just something we do and I think it’s like we all like a lot of different music and Alexisonfire satisfies one creative urge but sometimes you just want to make other types of music.
W. Yeah and Dallas’ acoustic stuff really has nothing to do with the band, it’s just a way for him to write that kind of music. He sings like an angel!

On that note we thanked George and Wade and got a couple of cheeky photos, said our goodbyes and headed off to watch the show. Alexisonfire put on another amazing performance and I couldn’t have been more pleased! They still hold strong for me as the best live performance I have ever witnessed, following my earlier review this year, and the crowd couldn’t get enough of them! The two new tracks performed proved to be excellent, pushing forward the high standard set by their previous work. Alexisonfire are a force to be reckoned with and are so deserving of all they have achieved.

Emma

The Darkness return

by Jo

The Darkness return
(which means the return of the darklings. Be afraid.)

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!

At last, a huge mass of tense, nervous darklings relaxed when Rob put up the announcement that the new single ‘One Way Ticket’ is out on 14th November, with the new album ‘One Way Ticket to Hell.. And Back’ is out on the 28th. Screams were mixed with the thuds of people falling off chairs and dancing about.. it gets loud in cyberspace.

No doubt there will be a lot of competitions and promotional stuff going on, so we wait, and watch, and hold our breath. We’re ready to have our socks rocked off, and indications from last year’s tour airings are GOOOOOOOOD… we want our boys back, and in fine style. Good luck, lads. We’re right behind you, praying for success.

The track listing is as follows..

One Way Ticket
Knockers
Is It Just Me?
Dinner Lady Arms
Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time
Hazel Eyes
Bald
Girlfriend
English Country Garden
Blind Man

Fresh from Kerrang’s pages..

OWTTHAB single reviews

by Fans!

Was weeing myself with excitement this morning. Had to have the radio on as the computer was being an arse, so everyone got to watch me bouncing on my chair with excitement. However, my clutch of non-Darkness fanatic colleagues all thought it was good – and if they hated it, they’d definitely let me know.

Basically, I think its great. Fantastic guitar, Justin’s voice sounds great, and a nice little sitar break in the middle. Not sure how they’ll handle that bit live, but we’ll wait and see.

Catchy chorus too.

I’d love to have a transcript of the lyrics, as at the moment I’m “la la la-ing along to the bits I can’t make out. Newspaper reports are claiming its all about drug abuse, so a sqizz at the lyrics may shed some light on that one.

Now where is that video …………. Q magazine say they have it on rotation through October.

The boys are definitely back in town!!!!!!

Welcome back, cos we’ve been gagging for it!

Taffy

One way ticket to hell.

After waiting for so long for anything new from camp Darkness. We
finally have something!

One way ticket is the first single to be released for the forthcoming
album One Way Ticket to Hell….. And Back.

It opens with riffs reminiscent of AC/DC, and a cowbell. It instantly
makes you foot tap along. We have the familiar falsetto vocals, and a
chorus that’s as catchy as hell. It is in no way a rip your face off
rock song, but it does rock. From the first listen you’ll be singing
along with the chorus and it won’t leave your head. The Darkness are
back on form!

If this is the quality of the rest of the album I can’t wait!

Spid

On the 3rd of October, anxious Darklings across the land clung
aggressively to their radios like a pack of slavering shrews, hungry
for the veritable juicy grub that is ‘One Way Ticket’… I don’t think
there was an ounce of disappointment within our fine nation that misty
morning
Debuted on national radio, the new single oozes the magnificent
insanity we all now know and love, sounding flawlessly slick with the
help of Sir Roy Thomas Baker, rock producer extraordinaire. So some of
the ‘Permission To Land’ rawness has been lost, but the transition to
international superstars has meant a huge boost in the kind of
grandeur that they tried so hard to achieve the first time round with
just twenty grand and two weeks. This is just an extension of the
mind-boggling greatness that was thrust upon us three years back.
It’s been a long time coming, but it seems the ridiculously long
months of recording and perfecting was just a preliminary for The
Darkness proving that they’re back, and in fantastic form. ‘One Way
Ticket’ is bold and beautiful and shamelessly catchy, with the warble
that seemed delightfully ubiquitous last year making a very welcome
return. Grief Hammer for b-side… please?
I don’t know about you, but I can’t fucking wait for the album.

Davey

Hallowe’en movies special

by Emma

Scare yourself stupid for Halloween!

Since Halloween falls on a Monday this year…not all of you will make it out, so here are a few suggestions for the perfect seasonal movies to make you hide behind the sofa or pee yourself laughing!

Revolting Dead (2003)

When the Dead Are Disturbed, No One Will Rest in Peace…

This movie definitely falls into the latter category (see above) and will have you screaming in hysterics at times – I almost left the land of the living watching this film – I laughed so hard I temporarily lost the ability to breathe! Revolting Dead follows the story of Marissa, who travels alone to a small and very strange town to attend her uncle’s funeral. Marissa soon becomes suspicious that the local undertakers (the Crain family) are doing a little more than they are being paid for. This is not the only suspicious event in the town, and Marissa uses her special powers to summon the dead to avenge this and other crimes.

The Toolbox Murders (2004)

If you lived here, you’d be dead by now…
This is a jumpy one! Picture the scene…an old decrepit apartment block is being renovated and when young couple Nell and Steven move in, other tenants begin to go missing. Nell is both distressed and intrigued and eventually discovers that the explanation is supernatural. With initially little help from the other tenants and landlord it is up to Nell to save the day before it is her turn to die.
Dead Man’s Shoes (2004)

He’s in all of us…

Dead Man’s Shoes is a haunting movie with a twist that won’t be forgotten in a hurry! Brothers Richard and Anthony visit their home town, a place they have stayed away from for a long time. Anthony is retarded and Richard is protective of his little brother and as Anthony tells him of the terrible ordeals inflicted upon him as a young boy by other kids Richard is horrified and is determined to seek revenge.

Posted in OI

Instrument of The Issue

by Lucie

Instrument Of The Issue

Angus Young’s Gibson SG

Angus and his SG are as iconic as Freddie and his half mic stand, or the McDonald’s arches, and inspiring to any wannabe rock star who longs to recreate the opening riff to the classics ‘Back In Black’ or ‘Highway To Hell’. His Excalibur is a red 1964 SG Standard, (although he occasionally uses the ’68 model), with Ernie Ball strings,
well-favoured by Gods of Rawk the world over. With the help of his Marshall JMP 100 watt master head amps, this instrument is guaranteed to tear through any mere mortal’s soul at the first terrific twiddling of a string. Angus used extra-heavy Fender picks to hone that heavy, vintage metal sound, and slam his geetar silly to within an inch of its life. Don’t let the boarding school uniform fool you, Sir Angus truly was and always will be a master of his trade.

Model – Gibson 1964/1968 SG
Strings – Ernie Ball (gauge 10-48)
Picks – Fender (extra heavy)
Amps – Marshall JMP 100Watt Master Volume Head
Cabinets – Marshall 1960A Slant Cabinet / 4×12
Marshall 1960B Straight Cabinet / 4×12

Posted in OI

Blast From The Past – Queen

by Lucie

Blast From The Past!

Queen – ‘A Night At The Opera’ (1975)

As a young ‘un, when it comes to the world of rawk, I’ve had to scrabble together a decent collection in a short amount of time in order to confidently call myself a fan. Thankfully, I had a stroke of luck a few weeks back, and bought some Queen MP3’s off eBay, rounding my sum total of their albums from five, to a healthy (??) twenty-eight. But before this windfall, a good friend sent me a copy of ‘A Night At The Opera’, most famed for featuring the classic ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’. And in my opinion, this album embodies everything that everybody loves about Queen, in one shiny, loud, flamboyant, hard-rocking microcosm. Ground-breaking of its time, it’s now become my favourite Queen album, and possibly my favourite album full stop, thirty years later. One of the most wonderful things is, Roger and Brian get a chance at stealing the limelight vocally, which happened less and less throughout their
career.

The auto-friendly ‘I’m In Love With My Car’ is a very manly, boy racer inspired offering from Roger, with the familiar operatic harmonies draped across the very rocked-up backing, probably seeming out of place to the untrained Queen ear. The highlight of the album arrives at track five, with Brian May’s ”39′ – one of my favourite songs of all time. His voice is perfectly suited to this all-acoustic track,
telling an old time story (which I’ve always had a soft spot for), which the band do so well (think ‘Seven Seas Of Rhye’). A sweetly emotional song, wistful and delightfully different to the rest of the album.

‘The Prophet’s Song’ is another of my favourites from this album (I’m making it sound like a Greatest Hits – although only two tracks from the album made it onto any of the Greatest Hits albums, even if they all deserve it). At over eight minutes long, it’s not for the impatient first listener, but it’s certainly worth it. Set in ancient times, again with that old fashioned feeling, it almost makes rock biblical (ironically). You can tell Freddie revels in this song, sounding his best, with brilliant apocalyptic lyrics – “the earth will shake, in two will break, and death all around will be our dowry”. So, it’s not the jauntiest song on the album, but you can so easily get lost in a medieval dream. Speaking of jaunty, ‘Lazing On A Sunday Afternoon’ is the epitome of the word. Short and sweet, it gives connotations of pure Englishness. Maybe a jolly young man in a pinstriped suit, skipping past London zoo. Or something. The marvellous ‘Seaside Rendezvous’ gives another taster of this later on, telling the tale of a romantic… umm… seaside rendezvous! There’s saxophone, tap dancing, whistling AND piano, which all make for ripping good listening. That’s where the camp side of Queen really comes out of the closet. Har har.

The first of the two recognisable songs on there is the wonderful sing-along ‘You’re My Best Friend’; always a favourite with fans of all ages. The second is ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’, placed near the end for a grand finale, and a good head-banging sesh as soon as that memorable riff kicks in.

Words simply cannot do this album justice. If you’ve read this, just buy the damn record, because what I’ve said only expresses one thousandth of its greatness.

Davey

Posted in OI

Zombie Fest For Halloween

by Emma

What are YOU doing for Halloween?

Halloween is approaching and at last the time has come to embrace all that is ghostly, ghastly and spooky! So what will you be doing to celebrate this year? We at Optimum Impact have a wicked suggestion…

Zombie crew Send More Paramedics will be playing a small number of gigs towards the end of October and in doing so are giving us the perfect excuse to don corpse-like make-up, get dressed up in your finest living dead-esque attire and rock the hell out!

Dates are as follows:

16/10/2005 Hull Adelphi
17/10/2005 Birmingham Flapper
18/10/2005 Manchester Phoenix
19/10/2005 Leeds Fenton
28/10/2005 Leeds Joseph’s Well
15/11/2005 Manchester The Music Box

Join the flesh eating crew and make this Halloween one to never forget!

Emma

Send More Paramedics

by Emma

Send More Paramedics – Leeds Joseph’s Well – 5 August 2005

ZOMBIECORE ANYONE? Send More Paramedics rock it to the maximum!

I wasn’t too sure what to expect from this gig, as I wasn’t very well acquainted with the band’s music but man I sure as hell didn’t expect what I got! Leeds based Send More Paramedics are a fine example of hardcore zombie rock and were supported by kick ass bands The Nothing and Love That Kills.

First to take the stage were Love That Kills and they more than warmed up the audience with their solid heavy basslines and power riffs. This definitely set the standard for the evening in my mind as Love That Kills were worthy of their own headline slot and drew an unusually large crowd at this venue for the first act.

Essex based The Nothing followed up with a wickedly hardcore set – full on deep-throated screams and proper heavy grinding riffage – most impressive and they aren’t exactly bad looking guys either! Their set pleased the audience and prompted them to start moving although there was still a bit of a gap between the stage and crowd bar a few faithful followers. I totally enjoyed their set and will definitely be keeping track of this band.

And onto the Zombies…for real if you believe what their mate Daniel has to say! Send More Paramedics delivered one of the most awesome small scale gigs that I have ever seen. The fans in the audience had a helping hand in making it so. Opening with a fast paced track that everyone knew the words to, vocalist spitting out the lyrics with a raspy voice of the undead and guitar throbbing behind the screaming vocals, this band swiftly transformed the front end of the small room into one of the sickest pits I have had the pleasure to witness! Bloody noses and falls galore! As Send More Paramedics launched into their next track, the awesome Give In To Destruction, the room went nuts! One of the guys wore a balaclava all of the way through the set and some hardcore kid repeatedly climbed the tall speakers and dived into the crowd at least once for each song! Newly recruited fan, I absolutely loved the set and their powerful stage presence. Send More Paramedics are massively talented and inventive, I can honestly say that I haven’t heard music like this for a long time and the way that they switch with ease from furiously pounding and lightening fast corpse punk to deliciously slow and morbid grinding riffs is blender. For the last song there was a rush of bodies forward and the gig finale saw around thirty people on stage united with the band.

I left the gig as is best with a sweat and a huge smile and I can’t wait to get hold of the album ** Of The Apocalypse. Send More Paramedics will be supporting The Offspring in their September tour and I whole-heartedly recommend seeing these guys – it is truly an experience not to be missed.Emma

Rob Shaw – profile

by Jo

Ah, Rob Shaw. What can we possibly say about our little strawberry blond friend? A Yoda to the stars, dispensing wisdom (sometimes) and judgements to the happy bands of darklings.

Borned on the 3rd July, as Justin so recently pointed out to us. He’s not The Darkness’ first fan, but he’s been there a hell of a long time, and is steeped in their history. He’s seen them more than Richie has (he’s not allowed to play now though, its cheating being onstage)! As a huge fan, he’s probably the luckiest darkling of all. Make no mistake, he’s definitely one of us. He’s not afraid to get down the front and rock with the best of us. Lucky or not, he does have a tricky job sometimes keeping us in line, and he doesn’t suffer fools gladly. I think we’re lucky that we don’t get his unvarnished opinion of us, on occasion. We’d deserve it, as well.

His repertoire of quotes from cult humour is impressive, so if you want to know what he’s on about, you need to check out Anchorman, Withnail and I.. that kind of thing. He does of course have his own brand of humour.. sharp, with sarky thrown in as a sideline. Despite all the flak he gets, he struggles on, having to take pics of Justin’s developing muscles for the news hungry hordes, and putting up with silliness on a monumental scale. His cry of ‘Arrant wasp toss!’ is his signature way of shooting down the ridiculous.

Gillingham should count themselves fortunate to have (any) fans like Rob, still passionate about them. I’m sure they’ll be back up, just like Norwich.. he could talk for hours about music, Star Wars, ‘other films wot I have loved’, and mexican food as well. He does admit to not being able to organize anything in real life though. Yoda would be ashamed. There’s a large streak of the dark side in him.

In the Darkness movie, (when/if it gets made and isn’t a figment of Rob’s imagination), he’ll be played by Simon Pegg, he says.

He’s as cute as a button, and cuddly too. A lovely boy, with sharp edges.

In this pic, he’s queueing up to get Justin’s autograph at the video shoot.. dunno what’s going on in the background. Food must have arrived.

Darkness bits and pieces

by Jo

Well, not literally.

It’s been quite busy in darkling land. Justin and Dan have flown off to LA to rehearse and record orchestras, then mix the whole lot so that we can have a lovely sparkly new album around November time. It might be a bit tight to get a tour in before Christmas, but I’m sure we’ll get a few gigs under our belts by earlyish next year.. or we’ll stamp our feet and generally be demanding and whingy (ahem. All darklings there, not just the Six).

The lads seem to be very positive, as shown in the recent Kerrang article. They’re all smiling and relaxed. Justin, of course, is.. umm.. Justin. Not sure whether he did all the talking by common consent, or the others couldn’t get a word in. Both, probably. The look on Dan’s face when he saw him in the catsuit must have been priceless… the reaction to the article was also very positive, although it did result in a call for Ed to be seen in brown lederhosen.

That article, and Justin’s interview on Radio 2, raised the issue of Frankie’s leaving again, causing more discussions online. Despite some people’s protests about that, it IS a major issue for darklings, and one that will be pondered upon for some time to come. Even if we never know the real reason. Everyone’s looking forward, but there will always be nostalgia! Good memories for us, if not for the band, and they understand that. Bring it on.. soon.. there’ll be a single before the album so it’s not as long a wait as it could be.

By the time this is issued, Justin’s solo single will be in the shops and online. If you’re going to buy it, don’t do it from Amazon, or it won’t count for chart position! Go to www.britishwhale.com/buy instead. The album will be out next year, well after The Darkness one. Gives Justin a chance to recover from any possible tour and get ready to do a few shows of his own, maybe. * crosses fingers* Can’t wait to find out what he judges as ‘not tasteful enough for The Darkness’ !

Jo

British Whale – This Town Ain’t Big Enough For The Both Of Us

British Whale – This Town Ain’t Big Enough For Both of Us

by Fee

Rating 10/10

This single marks the welcome return of Justin Hawkins, the most charismatic front man of rock to be seen this side of 1984. His solo project ‘British Whale’ happened, claims Hawkins, because he was ‘lacking porpoise’. This song has got a real vibe and is really fun to listen to. It is a breath of fresh air in the room full of dank, boring and often depressing songs. It is silly but that is the point! If you are in any doubt take a listen to the equally awesome b-side ‘America’ which tells it exactly like it is. The video, featuring Phil (The Power) Taylor, is also well worth a look. So rush out and buy it before it sells out!

By Fee (the cat).

What’s On?

by Emma

What’s on?

Forthcoming unmissable events…

Korn
August 23-24
Manchester Apollo, London Brixton Academy

Death From Above 1979
August 23
London Charing Cross Mean Fiddler

Leeds/Reading Carling Weekend
August 26-28

Trivium
September 10-27
Leeds Cockpit, Oxford Zodiac, Brighton Concorde, Newport TJ’s, Manchester Academy 3, Glasgow King Tut’s, Stoke Sugarmill, London Charing Cross Mean Fiddler; Wolverhampton Wulfrun Hall, Colchester Arts Centre, Belfast Limelight, Dublin Music Centre, Liverpool Academy 2, Nottingham Rock City, Portsmouth Wedgewood Rooms

Bullet For My Valentine
October 18-25
Cardiff Coal Exchange, Wolverhampton Wulfrun Hall, London Charing Cross Astoria, Glasgow Garage, Manchester Academy 2, Nottingham Rock City

Alexisonfire
October 19-29
Portsmouth Wedgewood Rooms, Cardiff University, Brighton Concorde 2, Manchester Academy 2, Leeds Cockpit, Newcastle University, Glasgow King Tut’s, Sheffield Corporation, Oxford Zodiac, London Charing Cross Mean Fiddler

My Chemical Romance
November 1-11
Wolverhampton Civic Hall, Portsmouth Guildhall, London Brixton Academy, Glasgow Carling Academy, Newcastle Academy, Manchester Apollo, Dublin Ambassador, Newport Centre

Taste Of Chaos (Feat. Funeral For A Friend, Killswitch Engage, The Used, Rise Against, Story Of The Year, Reggie and the Full Effect)
November 6-14
Manchester Apollo, Birmingham NIA, Glasgow SECC, Brighton Centre, Cardiff CIA, London Brixton Academy

Posted in OI

Rescue The Astronauts EP Review

by Emma

Rescue The Astronauts – Your Scissors/My Seatbelt

Your Scissors/My Seatbelt is the first EP available to buy from Derry sweethearts Rescue The Astronauts. The four-track disc produced by Neal Calderwood is a fine introduction to the raw talents of the ever changing five-piece rock outfit. I’m just a teeny bit disappointed that the awesome Crowds Of More Than One wasn’t included.

Track one I Am Your Sugar Rush trickles in with a strange movie-esque tinkle of bells and then suddenly blasts into action with grilling guitar and kick ass drums. The verses are brilliant with colourful and slightly aggressive vocals, lyrics to die for and are peppered with raw screams. The chorus is a little more gentle and brings down the pace a little, but in true RTA form is catchy as hell.

Second track Throwing Paper Airplanes is more pop-like and is a milder track with sweet harmonies and an inoffensive backing track. This song is a theme song for the young broken hearted and is a really cute little track. Lyrics are sweet and vocals are suitably enchanting.

Finely Tuned Frequencies is the third track and the eye of the EP and is such a quirky but beautiful ballad to tug on the old heartstrings. The song is expertly written and the guitar and percussion are perfectly executed to add a heavier undertone to the track. Ferris captures a rawness, intensity and versatility that shines through this track, but writing is the key and this is where the boys’ biggest talent lies.

Last but not least is Ideas To Resuscitate, upbeat and fluctuating between soft, high pitched vocals with a toned-down backing to powered throaty bursts of musical brilliance. There are parts of this track that are so well composed I wish I had written it myself!

In short, get yourself a copy (you can order online via the website) and I promise that you will love it.

 

 

Gratitude – Album Review

by Emma

Album Review: Gratitude: Gratitude

Gratitude was released on 20th June and is the debut album from US rockers Gratitude, label mates with the fabulous Funeral For Friend. Gratitude are supporting Funeral’ in their current UK tour and so they have a lot to live up to.

The feel of the album is fairly gentle with beautiful aching and screaming vocals brilliantly delivered by Jonah Matranga. Mark Weinberg, Jeremy Tappero and Bob Lindsey provide a combination of soft and blasting guitar whilst several guest drummers are featured on Gratitude.

The Greatest Wonder and Someone To Love are softer ballads, while Drive Away, Last and Feel Alright are gorgeously powerful roaring tracks with the same beautiful tone of vocals. Drive Away would have to be my personal favorite with it’s fantastic opening vocals and upbeat nature.

Gratitude are slightly leaning toward post hardcore, with a bit of a pop feel in a Jimmy Eat World kind of way. It’s easy listening and ideal for chilling out. With an apparently strong live performance and amiable songs these guys can go far.