by Louise

Trashstock, August 19th 2006

Ah, my third and final interviewees of the Trashstock weekend. And why not save the most shambolic ‘til last?! After being pre-warned about the dangers of leaving this interview until after the show, I went ahead and left this interview until after the show. So, in the backstage room, amidst a drunken haze, MANY interruptions, some accidental glass-smashing and not-so-accidental setting-the-floor-on-fire, I think I managed to chat to the band. I may have asked some questions. They may have been answered. Who really knows?

Lou: Please introduce yourselves…
Tez: (silly voice) Hello, my name is shageee
Brad: I’m Brad
Jamie: (silly voice) I’m Jamie & I play guitar
Brad: He doesn’t say anything anyway.
(Somehow this sparks debates about who’s “soberer” than who)

Brad: (to Lou) You really could have fuckin’ asked us to do this interview earlier!
Lou: But earlier I was comfy on the sofa downstairs!
Jamie: I think it’s better now, man.

Lou: So, how are things in Disarm HQ?
Noddy: Ah, it’s wank, we’re on about splitting up.
Brad: The roof’s leaking and everything but it’s fucking good.
Lou: You’re all happy
Noddy: Yeah
Noddy: Come on then, let’s have it out, who’s not happy?
Brad: I’m not getting it out!
Lou: On a scale of one to ten, how drunk are you, Noddy?
Noddy: Seven
Lou: Jamie?
Jamie: Which is highest?
Lou: Ten’s off your face
Jamie: Ah, I’m only about a two or three
Lou: Brad?
Brad: I’m about four, I’ve not had that many. Because we were on really late we didn’t wanna go on really like… (insert impression of drunken tramp here)
Lou: Why not?
Brad: I can’t play when I’m fucking hammered, at all.
Lou: Have you ever done a gig when you were absolutely hammered?
Brad: Once
Noddy: Once, yeah
Brad: It was seriously fucking… It was shit! It was embarrassing. We’ve got it on video as well.
Tez: Is that the one in Sheffield?
Brad: No, it was ages ago, before you joined. Me & Noddy just sat backstage drinking bottles of wine
Jamie: Oh, I wondered why you were shit!
Brad: It was like we were on speed though and we did the entire set in about 20 minutes.

Lou: Describe your Trashstock experience in three words.
Brad: Fucking amazing.
Noddy: Good. Fucking amazing good!
Jamie: I reckon it should be; thank you, Riot.
Brad: Yeah.
Lou: Ok, describe James Riot in three words.
Noddy: Gay, gay, gay.
Jamie: Loveable gay lord

Lou: So, plans for an album?
Jamie: We’ve gotta write more songs first! We’re supposed to be recording at the end of the year.
(Interrupted by Headrush’s Chris Khosa, coming into collect some belongings)
Brad: Yeah, so hopefully have an album early next year.
Lou: Do you have an album title yet?
Jamie: No
Lou: You’re not very organised, are you? You should be called ‘Disorganised’.
(Interrupted by Headrush’s Dave Leese)
Noddy: (to Dave) Have you got any cigarettes?
Dave: I haven’t, no.
Lou: Would you like to contribute to this interview, Dave?
Dave: Oh, are you interviewing? Sorry.
Lou: S’alright
Dave: I’m ever so sorry. I can be the guy in the interview who didn’t have any cigarettes.
Jamie: What did you think of Disarm tonight?
Dave: Very fucking good, actually. I’d never heard you before but what I heard was fucking good!
(Door swings open and a snippet of song currently being played in the main room wafts in)
Brad: I fucking hate this song that’s on now!
Lou: I can’t even hear what it is
Brad: (sings it) Who the fuck writes that??
Jamie: We’re off on a rant again now!

Lou: Ok, favourite song to play live?
Brad: I dunno, it depends. We just changed the setlist around… It depends because different songs do different things, so…
Lou: Didn’t you say in another interview that you don’t use setlist? But you had one tonight…
Jamie: Well, we didn’t but now we’ve changed it all around
Lou: Oh right, so you didn’t use them because you knew what you were playing anyway?
Jamie: Yeah. But now we’ve changed it to shake it up.
Brad: So people aren’t going ”Oh, they’re gonna play this next”, now they’re going “ARGH OOOH…” (supposed noises of a surprised crowd) and they’re all surprised.
Noddy: Yeeaahh

Lou: What’s been the highlight of your time with Disarm, so far?
Jamie: It’s been pretty fucking cooool! I think the best bit is just being on stage. And when Tez joined, things changed and it just felt more natural.
Brad: The Robin Black tour.
Noddy: Yeah, the highlight so far is supporting Robin Black on tour.

Lou: I have it on good authority that you’re a bunch of sleazy mother effers…
Brad: Motherfuckers?
Lou: But I’m a lady, I don’t say that
Jamie: Effers? Like cows?
Lou: I wanna know who’s the sleaziest
Jamie: What do you call sleaziest?
(Interrupted by The High Society’s Maxi Browne)
Maxi: Hey guys!
Noddy: (points at Maxi) THAT’S what you call sleaziest!
Maxi: How the fuck are ya? Is this fucking chick (Lou) bothering you?
(insert random waffle here)
(more interruptions)
(all interrupters now gone, Brad gaffer tapes the door shut)
Noddy: (to Lou) Are we the most difficult band you’ve ever interviewed?
Lou: I wouldn’t say difficult, certainly very interesting!
Jamie: (to Brad) That’s not gonna work!
Lou: That’s the crappiest gaffer taping I’ve ever seen
Jamie: No, no, stick it under the door handle!
Brad: I’ll do that as well!
Noddy: If we can’t get out now…
Brad: Ah, that’ll do.
Jamie: Carry on
Lou: Ok, so, who’s the sleaziest?
Jamie: What does that mean?
Lou: You know what sleazy means!
Noddy: (laughs) No he doesn’t
Brad: The filthiest
(some discussion goes into it)
Jamie: Tez
Tez: But I’ve got a girlfriend now, so…
Jamie: Yeah, Noddy’s the only single one so, at the moment, Noddy.
(Cue the sound of gaffer tape ripping from the wall as Chris Khosa interrupts again)
Brad: Get out!
Noddy: Have you got any cigs?
(more random waffle)
(he just fell off the table he was sitting on. As did many a glass & beer bottle)
(a hell of a lot of laughter)
Jamie: Carry on!
Noddy: This is why you should have done this interview earlier!
Lou: Well, this is why I wanted to do it afterwards, but now I’m kinda regretting it a little bit!
Noddy: Yeah!
(Brad sets floor on fire, briefly, and almost engulfs his girlfriend’s belongings)
(Dave Leese interrupts again)
Noddy: Ey, mate, have you got any cigs?
Dave: Nah, mate, you asked me that before
Lou: Would you like to re-evaluate your scale of drunkenness, Noddy?
(rowdy discussion ensues as to whether any of their original estimations were correct)
Brad: I just set the floor on fire and nearly all my girlfriend’s possessions! Ok, maybe I’m a five and a half.

Lou: Next question. Describe each band member
(some debate)
Noddy: Ok, Angry…
Lou: Wait, who’s this about? Brad?
Jamie: Yeah
Noddy: Kick-arse. Motherfucker. Come on, join in someone!! I can’t say caring & shit like that.
Brad: I’m a moody bastard and I hate everything.
Jamie/Noddy/Tez: Yeah
Lou: Ok, that’ll do. Next.
Jamie: Noddy.
Brad: He’s a bit of a ladies man but in his own special way.
Noddy: In his own special way?! What’s that meant to mean?
Brad: I dunno, you just are! You are a ladies man but you’re not.
Lou: Does that mean he thinks he is but he’s not?
Brad: No, he doesn’t think he is, he can just go “how you doooin’?”
Lou: Jamie?
Brad: Doll’s head but he’s fucking amazing on guitar
Jamie/Lou: Dolls head???
Brad: He can’t even print out a mailing list!!
Jamie: Oh no, no, no…
Noddy: You even shut your own head in the fridge while you’re looking for beer!!
Brad: Umm…he can’t add. He can’t take away… He’s amazing on guitar but anything else, someone else has to do it. But he’s right pretty and he gets all the girls coming to see us.
Lou: Tez?
Jamie: Tez is umm… alcohol and drug fuelled knobhead
Noddy: That’s no joke, either!
Jamie: He’s good for drugs and he’s good for fucking playing drums
Noddy: Yeah, that’s about it

Lou: Ok, any final thoughts/words.
Jamie: Let’s get beer.