More of their bits

by Jo

I’ll have to do a running commentary, things happen so fast…

First off, Australia was conquered, and as far as we know, so was Japan.. unfortunately Dan ‘lost his homework ‘ so we’ll never find out. He’s currently being forced into a bikini to have his bits waxed, as punishment. Lesson 1. Don’t let down the darklings. They’re a funny lot, and have vivid imaginations.

Darkness in a POD??? For a MONTH??? No it won’t be funny to see them argue. This is a PR stunt for lesser bands. TD don’t need to whore their talent this way… and the mystique of the creative process should stay just that. Now, bouncing Justin’s wit off the unworthy on Celebrity BB would be awesome.. but would he survive without his security blanket laptop?

Things go into a media frenzy over the next few days.. Justin on Jonathon Ross, talking about the new British Whale single ‘England’. Now THAT’S a footie song. A real one. After the dismal Embrace offering, all nice and PC and utterly unsingable, some diehard goth acquaintances were moved to wonder why TD hadn’t done the official one. ‘Emily,’ they cried ‘It would have been perfect!’ Well, yes, it would. I mentioned that enough people already saw them as a joke band, but it would have been fab.. and now Justin saves the June 2006 pub singalong from the depths of despair. Terribly unPC lyrics, I understand. for a listen.

Top Gear!!!! Justin gets back with his mate Jeremy (with whom he spent time closeted at the OWTTH..AB launch party) to ‘wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!’ the pants off other people who think they can drive. Chortle. Comedy time, one way or another, if the silly arse doesn’t break anything..

‘Girlfriend’ release put back a week to May 22nd.. you knew that, but I’m trying not to miss anything.. the most wonderfully nostalgically evocative video for… ooo… ever.. the only thing I didn’t wear was the bomber jacket, and my stuff was all black. I’m still sniggering from the first time I saw it, never mind the last..

Now then.. have I missed anything… umm… Yeah… Jonathon Ross. Illuminating for the masses, but not long enough, in our opinion. Most of it was fairly old news to darklings, but I was pleased that the ‘body image’ thing came up. Jus is Jus, whatever shape/size he is, and he should listen to the darklings on that one. Someone find Justin a platform.. headline a chat show.. he deserves to be heard. We’d quite like to hear him, too.

The North America Tour issue has a separate article, so I’ll leave that.

The boys are home! Someone tie them down for a bit! Make them buy more bespoke leather furniture, have more helicopter lessons, lose gloves, pop into Norwich, get to number one… mmm. Tis nice to know they’re back.