Frankie’s Strictly Come Darkness


Frankie Poullain has been missing presumed shaved for some time. But lo! Is that a book I see before me? Frankie MUST be alive, to have a cleaner… Rejoice therefore, for darkpirate musings will soon slip themselves smoothly into your stockings, which is not where you usually find wit and wonderings OR a little torch shining into Darkness. Christmas ahoy!


Slightly more serious *ahem* – it did cause some turmoil when Frankie left TD, and there are still many who are wondering and waiting for – anything. The book evolved over time – no point rushing these things, right? It isn’t intended as an exposé. Frankie is clear that it is meant to be lighthearted and like TD – not totally serious or sensible, raising eyebrows and laughs along the way.


There were a few things that one needed to know:


You left 3 years and 5 months ago. What bloody time do you call this to roll in? 

41 months later, and I’m now 41, it all adds up if you just pay attention. I thought you were supposed to be a school teacher?

Did the pirating with your dad give you Darknessing skills?

It gave me enough money to buy a guitar and move to London, where I met Dan in 1995.

What IS your hair doing? How much grooming did the tache need? HOW do you look ten years younger these days?

Standing on end, I find interviews electrifying …. tache  was a bit tricky to groom with a hangover, if truth be told. That’s why it kept changing shape. Ten years younger than band days you say? Why, that would make me 25 … moustaches make people look older obviously. Even more so on a woman.

Was the book an opportunity that arose for your cleaner? Or was it something always in the back of that busy mind?

I discovered her drawings in the cupboard of my kitchen in France and that inspired the book. The original title was hers too: An Autistic Guide To Fame And Misfortune, but the publishers wouldn’t bite. It evolved from there to the concept of “A retired rocker fixes your mental problems” – made me laugh that.

Is that it, for music and being in a band? Are you all growned up now?

Who knows, no point in planning anything, just keep piecing together god’s (whatever that is) clues.

Have you played tennis with Justin yet?

No, we both keep bottling it. New balls please!

If someone gave you a bow, some cowboy boots and asked you to name a kitten, what would be the correct etiquette in dealing with the situation?

Depends if it was a cross bow or not. AIDS apart, I quite like the idea of diseases as namesmalaria, hepatitis, gangrene …. that’s not a disease though is it? But you get the idea.

What does your cleaner think that the future holds for the TD lads?

She’s only met Ed, but she liked him. She’s not paid to think!

Can I borrow her for a bit?

Yes, anyone can, just go to:


Frankie knows how not to be a Rock Star – and lots of other things as well. How not to clean?


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